In a long-term relationship, after having had sex with your partner hundreds of times, understandably, sex can go from fun and exciting to becoming a repeated experience. This ‘regular’ sexual experience isn’t necessarily bad if both parties enjoy it. Still, it doesn’t hurt to occasionally try new things and see if either person wants more. Things to spice up your sex life can help keep things interesting, build intimacy, and keep sex enjoyable, letting you explore what you like and don’t like and potentially discovering new avenues of pleasure or reinforcing present ones.
1. Talk About It
You never want to come out to your partner and say, “Hey, our sex is boring. Can we do something about that?” That is a wrong approach! Instead, ask to have an open conversation about your sex. Invite them to talk about their desires and talk about yours.
Discuss fantasies. Discuss boundaries! Boundaries are important if you experiment with sex because you don’t want to be put in an uncomfortable position and don’t want to do that to them, either.
2. Address Sexual Issues
Sexual issues exist in almost everyone. They can be mental, i.e. self-doubt, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, or a sense of obligation. They can be physical, i.e. a chronic health condition, inability to maintain an erection or stay lubricated or things about your body interfere with your enjoyment of sex.
It can be tough – tough! – to be honest and get all that out in the open but let me reassure you, sexual issues have solutions. For the most gratifying sex you’ll have, both partners need to be open and honest about their insecurities and any problems they may be having.
3. Try New Positions Or Sex Acts
After you’ve got the hard conversations out, now’s the time for fun. A common starting point in spicing up one’s sex life is sex toys or sex acts. Let’s talk about new positions first. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of sexual positions out there.
Some of them will not be your thing or are difficult to make happen. Being open to trying new positions is a fairly tame way to start switching things up. It’s just you and your partner safely exploring what’s satisfying and fulfilling to you both. And it’s fun!
4. Try Sex Toys For You Or Your Partner
Not everyone is comfortable with sex toys. This goes into the earlier point talking about boundaries. If everyone is okay with them, hundreds of adult sex toys exist for all genders. You don’t need to practice any sort of advanced acrobatics to use them, either.
It’s all simple, straightforward stuff, from vibrators to dildos, anal toys, sleeves, penis rings, pumps, and more. As long as both partners are included in the fun, there’s no reason sex toys can’t become an important part of a couple’s sex life.
5. Focus On Foreplay More
Foreplay is how you build tension and sexual excitement leading into sex. Foreplay is hugely integral to having the best sex possible, yet many couples lack it in their sexual game. Especially as we get busy with work and life, in a long-term relationship, you might not have the time to properly engage in foreplay.
So, make the time. A date night. A night-in. Taking as long as an hour or longer to very slowly work your way into sex builds anticipation and intensifies the enjoyment to come.
6. Engage In Sensory Play
Sensory play leans a little on the category of sex toys, but it’s more about safely exploring sensitivities and sensations in the body. Blindfolds, feathers, ice cubs, and candle wax are examples. Even a massage with massage oils is sensory play. It’s appreciating your partner sexually without going straight to orgasm.
As you’ll find, with many ways to spice up your sex life, it’s about what you do before the orgasm that will make things exciting for all involved.
7. Watching Porn Together
Porn is a terrible learning book for sex. It’s a hotbed of unrealistic expectations for all genders. That said, watching porn together in a relationship can be a way to turn each other on, get new sexual ideas, explore sexual preferences, or occasionally have something to laugh at.
This is especially effective if you know your partner watches porn. Consider it a way to learn about what they like to watch and what they focus on in porn. This is another way to build trust and intimacy.
8. Explore Sexual Kinks
We’ve saved the best for last. Kinks! Explore different kinks and fetishes with your partner. See what happens. You may find it hilarious and stupid or encounter a new desire to explore kinky sex. BDSM, role-playing, and voyeurism are a few popular kinks.
Having outdoor sex, dirty talk, dressing up in lingerie or costumes, or mutual masturbation is a few more. Explore and be open to laughing, saying no, or enjoying yourself. There is so much discovery in sex toys, kinks, and fantasy explorations.
